if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
