A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You are the jesus of drinking
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
