Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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