was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
