hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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