i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
