I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Found the puke drawer
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
