So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
