I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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