No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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