What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
