i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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