Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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