Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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