Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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