I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
