if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
