CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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