Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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