This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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