I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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