fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
