Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
