It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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