apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
