why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
