I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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