Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
