if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Congratulations! We have a period
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
