fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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