I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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