return my video game
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
