I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
