you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
