i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
