3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
PANTIES FOUND
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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