Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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