Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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