If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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