There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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