Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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