I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball