No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.