What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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