You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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