Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
