i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
