How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was confusing and full of hummus
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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