I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
