I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
