Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
