I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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