I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
