the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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