Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize