My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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