Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
