glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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