at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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