I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
