dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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