It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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