we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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